Fall in? Fallin'? Trying to get back up after falling part 85?
As I type this, I am two days post-freedom. Freedom to walk again, that is.. albeit in my aircast boot.
And after another four weeks in the boot, I'll then be able to walk on my own two feet, after 12 weeks of recovery from this..
I swear to anyone reading this - I will never take a simple walk for granted again!
So the fall was in August, it broke my ankle into about four pieces and I needed surgery to repair it, with plates and screws and casts and bandages and all the medical things. Along with torquing my ankle sideways, my fall event season was torched and I think that hurt just as much as the injury, if not more.
I've missed my customer peeps! And especially after the last two years of limited events - I had a badass fall event plan scheduled. Sigh.. The stairs had other plans and I fell into fall.
(also, don't wear flip flops on wooden stairs and carry things while not watching where you're going and then you miss a step and boom. you're rolling around holding your ankle and getting REALLY sweary. But I digress.)
While I posted some fun things (mostly created while Mr. Pretty Clever was out of the house!) and managed to get part of the fall collection done and online... for the last 8 weeks, I have mostly been couch-bound and online, looking for inspiration, motivation and frankly, sometimes - support and sympathy
I can't say that I have reached some kind of profound plane of existential existence <insert all psychology text here> while on forced downtime.
I will say that it caused a LOT of anxiety, about losing all of the customer base that I'd built up, and opportunities to reconnect, and worry about the future and and and..
And then I continued to find some inspiration in books and magazines and frankly - in my own art pieces and parts.
Since I started my business, I have found it very difficult to create just for the sake of creating - to have fun with paint and fabric and stitching - without thinking of my customers and target audience and important things like How To Create Things For Sale and that I Must Commercialize Everything.
Does that happen to anyone else? It's a feeling that totally drains the joy from my endeavors, and it really got worse while I was unable to physically create. Like a drumbeat in my head.
The thing is - I want and need to be able to sell my finished work, if only to buy more supplies. And I love my business, my website and my customer friends, and let's be honest - I also love the ca-ching and the validation, really, of someone making a purchase on my website. You like me, you really really like me!
But there's always ALWAYS that stupid voice in the back of my head, driving me to be competitive and
sellsellsell and figure out what customers will want to buy before I know what creative actions will bring me joy.
I don't know what the answer is for me yet - I need to keep figuring out that balance for myself. There are a LOT of mentors and coaches out there who will helpfully take your money and give you tips on this topic. (Disclaimer: I have taken several courses and help is always welcome!)
I AM saying that I will continue to post and sell here and here and here and make things like this and this - and hope that you all come along and follow and sign up for the newsletter at the bottom of our website
... and maybe fall in love with something that I've made.